enough, enough now.

For now, let me say, without hope or agenda, just because it’s Christmas (and at Christmas you tell the truth) -  to me, you are perfect. And my wasted heart will love you until you look like this…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enrSE6vRWRY

Merry Christmas.

it's a hard knock life

Today I found out that one of the best musicians I know is possibly quitting because two bands later nothing has come of it. He had a taste of the dream, and it all came tumbling down one August. July 24th, 2007. That’s the day The Pulse was released. August 30th, 2007. That’s the day I turned 17. That’s also the day Scenes From A Movie died. He is honestly the most talented person I’ve ever met. He has a knack for writing amazing choruses, and can make a play on the English language better than a linguist. His songs are catchy, and fun, and all around amazing. The sheer idea of all that talent going to waste makes my stomach hurt. I can sincerely say that my Christmas wish this year is to see Tony Bush succeed in whatever he chooses to do with his life, but I hope that it will always be intwined with music, because sometimes someone is just so special that it would be a shame to not share them with the world.
People like that are one in a million. The rarest of the rare. I have the pleasure of knowing two of them.

"make a connection"

Every time I get close to having just the right amount of courage to run away, something falls into my lap that destroys all of my well laid plans. I can’t help thinking that this is some sick, twisted, ridiculous version of fate.

the boy's a straight up hustler.

“You’re so infamous for leaving me a mess.” - All Time Low

The odd thing about feelings is that we attach all these words to them, and those words don’t even describe what is happening. When I love someone, it’s so much more than just love. When I am sad it’s so much more than just being sad. I sat here for an hour trying to figure out how to describe what I’m feeling, and it’s beyond indescribable.

Trying to please you is my favorite waste of time.

but you hate him more than you notice I wrote this for you.

Every lyric to every love song couldn’t even come close to describing how I feel about you.

this is why it's you.

“Nostalgia for what we have lost is so much more bearable than nostalgia for what we have never had.” - Mignon McLaughlin

I don’t believe this anymore. I had a list, and I checked it just over a million times. You passed every test. You were it…or what I thought was it. I “let go” of you, and this, and everything that happened and was said. For a while I was happy. For a while I found the real deal. For a while. But hey, my heart is on my sleeve, and I wear it like a bruise or black eye. Which just means that I believed EVERY single lie you said. I want you to know that every pane of glass that your pebbles tap just negate the pains I’ve gone through to avoid you. Sound familiar?

I pretended. I pretended so much that I believed myself. Through all those lies I told myself, I held on in the smallest, and only way I knew how. All those playlists. Every single one was dedicated to you, and I kept them that way. Until tonight. Tonight I hit delete. I deleted the last trace of you that I was holding on to. So here I am. Here I am, and the nostalgia for what I have never had is so much more bearable than the nostalgia for what I’ve lost. Because this time he is it, but hey, we both know that I was just like a lawyer with the way I was always trying to get you off. No harm, no foul.

I need you

“When I’m with him it’s like the hole in my heart is almost healed”